I just wanted to let out how PROUD I am of myself. I know I’ve only been here for a few days but I’m able to realize in this short amount of time that being here in this level of care is what I needed. The hell my body is going through is so difficult. I could go into so much detail- but that is just too TMI for Tumblr. All I know is that this refeeding process is the most painful (physically, mentally, and emotionally…. especially physically) that I have put my body through. When I do eventually leave I need to remember how all of this feels and how miserable it is. I hope the misery that my body is feeling will be another aspect that will keep me on the right path. Just in this past 20 minutes I’ve been feeling hopeful. I haven’t felt this way in a long, long time. I like it. I don’t want it to go away but realistically I know it will fade. That doesn’t mean that it won’t come back though!
I’m missing everyone back at home. I miss the daily tasks, the healthy ones, and yeah.. right now I do miss the behaviors but I’m only a few days into treatment. I have to grasp onto this feeling of hope. I have to. I want to fight this and I want to beat this.
Stuff people with eating disorders don’t care about:
- Marilyn Monroe.
- Victoria’s Secret models.
- The media.
- Impressing boys.
- Impressing girls
- Do you get the point?
- It’s a mental illness.
- So please.
Thanks Chelsea! Hope you’re doing okay<3